Let’s talk about anticipation – that delicious, tingly, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling we used to get before Christmas morning, prom night, or the first day of summer break. Remember that? The way your whole body hummed because something good was coming?
Well, surprise: that feeling didn’t expire when we hit 40, 50, or fabulous-and-beyond. It just got buried under carpools, casseroles, PTA meetings, and the emotional labor of keeping entire households alive and semi-functional.
Where Did Anticipation Go?
But anticipation? She’s still here. She’s just been waiting for us to call her name again.
Anticipation literally pumps dopamine into our brains – the same chemical that makes us feel motivated, hopeful, and downright giddy. It’s like a mental health smoothie, but without the kale.
And yet, so many women of a certain age start believing the lie that there’s nothing left to look forward to.
Been there, done that.
Seen it, cooked it, cleaned it, organized it, packed snacks for it.
But I call nonsense.
This era of life?
This is our selfish era.
And selfish is not a dirty word – it’s a reclamation.
We raised babies.
We raised spouses.
We raised pets, plants, and the occasional man-child.
We kept houses running, jobs afloat, and holidays magical.
We were the anticipation-makers.
We were the Christmas magic.
We were the vacation planners.
We were the ones who made the house smell like heaven and cinnamon.
Now?
It’s our turn.
A Surprise Vacation
Last year, I planned a birthday trip for my significant other. He didn’t want to know where we were going – he wanted the thrill of the unknown. So, I wrote the destination, sealed it in an envelope, and slapped it on the refrigerator like a grown-up advent calendar.
He could open it anytime.
He didn’t.
He teased. He asked for hints. He pretended to reach for it.
But he held strong until it was time to pack.
And when he finally opened it?
He loved the surprise – but he loved the anticipation even more.
Adults Don’t Outgrow Anticipation
We don’t outgrow anticipation, we just forget to feed it.
Anticipation doesn’t have to be a two-week Mediterranean cruise (though, listen… treat yourself). It can be tiny, sparkly moments sprinkled through your calendar like confetti.
Try these on for size:
- A vacation – maybe somewhere you’ve never been.
- A live concert or Broadway show.
- Holiday celebrations you actually enjoy.
- A date night that doesn’t involve errands.
- A weekend outing just because.
- Girl’s night out (or in – pajamas count).
- Game night with people who don’t flip the board.
- The new season of your favorite show.
- Your favorite meal or treat.
- A package arriving on your doorstep (adult Christmas!).
- A spa day where no one calls your name.
- A class, club, or new skill that lights you up.
These aren’t luxuries.
They’re lifelines.
Anticipation Is a Buffer Against Stress
Think of anticipation as a way to fight off stress. It’s a spark in the mundane. It’s a reminder that joy is not behind you – it’s ahead of you, waiting.
Order yourself that happy surprise.
Plan that trip – even if it’s solo.
Put something on your calendar that makes you smile every time you think about it.
As Carly Simon sang, “We can never know about the days to come.”
But we can fill them with things worth anticipating.
And honestly?
We deserve nothing less.
Join the Fun:
What kind of anticipation are you craving right now – something tiny and sweet, or something big and bold?
